The
American Hot Dog Museum
One Franky Lane, Haydenville, Massachusetts 01039
It
was the best of treats, it was the wurst of treats,
it was the beef, it was the seasoning, it was
more than something to eat, it was something to
savor. But mostly it was millions and millions
of hungry Americans who knew, who passionately
believed that here was nirvana -- on a bun!
--
C. D. Chickens
Dear
friends,
Please
find 2 complimentary tickets to a great, new institution
(and a thrilling experience!) -- The American
Hot Dog Museum!
This
beautiful museum is nestled in a quiet, sylvan-gladed
village -- Haydenville, Massachusetts. Haydenville
(pop. 23, living), has long been famous for being
situated over the burial grounds of the lost Indian
nation of Whose. (Rest in thine eternal peace,
oh, noble warriors.)
And
now Haydenville is destined to become even more
famous as the home of the only Hot Dog Museum
in all of America! We have learned much about
the Whose and we are confident they would have
enthused their approval! And why not? This museum
is a veritable jewelbox -- bulging with thousands
of fascinating and historically significant hot
dog artifacts from every part of this great country!!!
For
instance, you'll se actual hot dog griddles used
at the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago
in 1893! There -- for your delight and edification
-- will be hundreds of classic spatulas, forks
and tongs dating as far back as 1872 -- a startling
array of mustard pots including priceless pots
in 18 karat gold! You'll see vendors' aprons with
important marks and drips from every ballpark
in America!!!
But
that's only the beginning! Don't miss the symposium
on the often overlooked art of bun slicing and
trimming... the inspired salad recipes featuring
generous chunks of hot dog sprinkled with tasty
shreds of garden lettuce and dressed with garden-style
mustard!... the invaluable tips on roasting, grilling,
boiling, baking and sautéing America's
own gustatory treat!!!
*
* *
This
just in: we now have on display the world's OLDEST
HOT DOG!!! Indisputable authenticated by the Select
Committee of the Flagerian Society!!!
A
MUST visit is our GIFTTE SHOPPE... where gifts
of uncommon beauty (often in the shape of a HOT
DOG!) may be purchased!
And
for those quiet, healing moments we all need,
please know the museum's Hot Dog Chapel welcomes
you.
Later
-- in the Griddle Room, the museum's own nite
club -- we will have a fabulous floor show featuring
The Red Hots, our lovely ladies of precision dance!!!
But most of all, the museum is a vital storehouse
of Americana!!! This is your American heritage...
and it beckons to every man, woman and child (children
under 2 admitted free)!
Remember!
There's no way you can't afford not to deny yourself
this truly, deeply American chronicle!!! Doors
open promptly April 1 at noon!
Looking forwardly to your visit, I remain
C.D. Chickens, Jr.
email
us with your comments.
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